Chelsea leaned back, letting out a long sigh. “Is that it?” she asked.
“Yes,” Lorelei said, stepping away, the glow of her glove Talisman fading. “Just an ankle sprain. It’s an easy fix.”
“I usually walk these things off,” Chelsea said. She looked past Lorelei to Caleb, who was standing in the Timespan chamber’s glassy pool, his form translucent and blue. “And you’re the only one who noticed.”
“You were trying to hide it,” Lorelei said. “In the future, don’t. Enhancement Magic only dulls the pain, it doesn’t mend tissue.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Chelsea stood stretching and testing out her ankle. She grinned. “Good as new. Thanks.”
“Everyone’s all better now!” Addie said with a wide smile. She sat on the floor, playing with Trevain.
“Caleb’s the only one who took a serious hit there,” Chelsea said. She plopped down on the floor beside Addie, and her owl Summon hooted softly, taking off and doing a few circles around the chamber’s ceiling.
“And now he’s busy, alone,” Addie said, frowning at Caleb. “I wish Time Magic stuff was open for all of us.”
Chelsea let out a long sigh. “Me too, kiddo. Me, too.”
“But even so,” Addie said, gazing curiously at Chelsea, “you seem happier.”
Chelsea stared back at her. “What?”
“You seem happier than when I met you,” Addie said.
Chelsea waited, but Addie didn’t say more, smiling as she played with Trevain. Chelsea looked up, to see Lorelei smiling at her from where she sat with Gwen and Will.
Happier… huh?
Chelsea leaned back on her hands, staring at the ceiling, watching her owl Summon do happy loops and spins. She let the current frustration dissipate — Caleb wouldn’t be in Time-state with Jiryu forever, he’d come back, and he’d explain what he learned to everyone when he was.
I’m still impatient. But… I never really thought about that before.
I never really thought about a lot of my own flaws.
Happier…
…really?
She thought back to when she and Addie first met. It had been an awkward meeting, to say the least. Escaping from Duo’s crumbling house, only to find Caleb with a child version of Duo, the villain that had tormented Delilah and imprisoned Caleb and Will… and then to have Caleb introduce the girl and expect them to be friends? That had been absurd.
But Chelsea chuckled.
Just like Caleb to pull something like that.
That was… before the Lunar Festival. Before the fight for Grimoire really started.
Before…
…before Caleb disappeared.
And when she went to search for Caleb, who had come with her? Addie. The little girl had been with her the whole journey through, and Chelsea was glad she’d gotten to know her so well.
Happier since we first met…
So much has happened. But I get it. Yeah.
The groundwork was laid before we met. And everything that’s happened since… it’s built off of that.
“I guess I am,” Chelsea said with a smile. “I know a lot more. About my mother, what really happened, and how…” She pulled out one of her lighters and clicked it, so a ball of emerald flame floated in front of her. She thought she could see a hint of sapphire here and there in its flickering. “How she’s with me. Watching over me. Always. And I guess…” she glanced at Addie, but seeing the girl watch her so intently was too much, so she looked away again, “…Fire Blossom.”
“Your super-secret attack?” Addie asked.
Chelsea laughed. “Yeah, that,” she said. “I’ve only used it once, but… I never could have possibly done that before. I discovered power I didn’t know I had only when I found how to be at peace, found that serenity. And even though I’m not always like that —”
“Yeah, you’re really impatient and grumpy a lot of the time,” Addie said, giggling. Chelsea glared, ruffling the girl’s hair roughly.
“Yeah, yeah,” she said. “Even though I’m not always like that, it’s like… there’s bits of that same peace with me, all the time.” She sighed, looking at Lorelei, and then Caleb. “I’m glad you met me when you did, kiddo. Before that… I was pretty different. And not in the best ways.”
“But you were still you,” Addie said. “You’re always you. Even if you change, you don’t change.”
Chelsea blinked several times. “Wait, what?”
“Like…” Addie scrunched up her forehead tight, clearly thinking hard over this. While she did, Trevain scampered away, racing back to Will. “Like you’ve always got all sorts of stuff in you. And there’s good stuff and bad stuff, right? And you kinda… try to make the good stuff the most important, but sometimes the bad stuff seems like good stuff, or it’s just really strong, or something, or there’s a lot of it, so the bad stuff is what comes out. But even when you change that, when you throw the bad stuff in a box and lock it up, the bad stuff’s still there. So you changed, because the good stuff’s what’s coming out, but the bad stuff is still there in you, you’re just not letting it come out.” She looked up at Chelsea, eyes wide, hopeful. “Did I get it right?”
Chelsea stared back at Addie for a long time, long enough that Addie took her silence the wrong way and started to apologize or amend what she’d said. “No, no, it’s okay,” Chelsea said. “Yeah, kiddo. You got it right.” She looked down at her feet. “Good stuff and bad stuff… and the bad stuff doesn’t just go away. It’s about what you let be in control.” She nodded. “That was pretty good. You’re a sharp one, kiddo.”
Addie grinned. “Really?”
“Apparently, we’re supposed to join you now,” said the soft, expressionless voice of Will. He came back with Trevain ahead of him, and Lorelei and Gwen alongside him.
“Good!” Addie said. “I was wondering why you were all sitting over there. We should all sit and chat.”
“Little Miss Social Butterfly over here,” Chelsea said with a smirk.
“We thought you two could use a moment or two to yourselves first,” Gwen said, taking a graceful seat beside Addie. Trevain came to her, and she held out her hand for the firrin Summon to scamper up to her shoulder and nestle against her neck.
“Well it’s really important that you’re all here, because I need to know,” Addie said, suddenly pointing dramatically at Will. “Why do you wear headphones all the time?”
Will stared at her, the perfect poker face, as always.
“Did you always wear them?” Addie asked. “Were you born with them on? Do they grow with you? Are you a magical creature from another world?”
“I’m a Human,” Will said, while Chelsea and Lorelei tried very hard not to laugh.
“He didn’t start wearing them all the time until high school,” Lorelei said.
Chelsea cocked her head to the side. “How’d you know?” she asked.
“We’ve always been friends,” Lorelei said, smiling. “But he was too shy when we were younger, and easily bossed around, so I kept him away from you.”
“Excuse me?” Chelsea asked.
Lorelei shrugged. “You were a tiny tyrant when we were kids.”
“I…” Will started hesitantly, “also had a part in it. I overheard you, one time,” he looked at Chelsea, “talking about the Greysons. When I was on my way to school, and I was about to say hello to Lorelei. It wasn’t… anything very serious. But it was enough to convince me I should compartmentalize my friend groups.”
“I helped him in that, though,” Lorelei said. “He had a good point.”
“Wait, you two both worked together to keep me from meeting Caleb when we were kids?” Chelsea asked. Her mind was reeling.
“And how would it have gone if you’d met him before you did?” Lorelei asked.
Chelsea stared at her. “I…” she started, then paused. “When I met Caleb, it was an accident. And where you’ve always looked into everyone, done all sorts of research on people, you never said a word about him. Not even his last name. I didn’t know who his family was until we’d been friends for… almost a year.” She stared at the floor. “If I’d known earlier…”
“You never would have met him properly,” Lorelei said. “Never would have been friends.”
No. That’s not it.
Chelsea didn’t say it aloud.
I… “tiny tyrant,” huh? Maybe I was. If I’d known who he was before I met him…
I never would have given him a chance. Not like Lorelei thinks. I would have befriended him — “befriended” him — just for the sake of my own misguided revenge. I would never have met him on neutral ground, never had a chance to properly know him. All I would have seen…
…was his name.
She let out a long, bitter sigh.
We change, but we don’t change, huh? Good stuff and bad stuff…
Yeah. And when you finally realize that the bad stuff is bad stuff, and you get it locked up in a box, you let it go, stop letting it control you…
It’s a lot more painful to look back and see what all that bad stuff did to you, and what it could have done.
“Okay, but anyway!” Addie said, pointing at Will. “Why the headphones?”
“They help me concentrate,” Will said, and that caught Chelsea’s attention, too. Though Lorelei, naturally, looked as if she already knew this, Chelsea had never heard him talk seriously about it. She’d asked a few times, just like Addie, but had let it go after being deflected enough times. And Caleb had always insisted he didn’t know, and just went with it.
“What do you listen to?” Addie asked.
“Music,” Will said. “Lots of different kinds.” He took them off, his platinum-blonde hair ruffling slightly with the motion. How the boy never got super-flat headphones-hair, Chelsea didn’t know, but she was envious. Addie took the headphones excitedly and put them on, though they were a bit too big for her, even if she adjusted them down. Her eyes lit up.
“Whoa, this is good!” she said, a peaceful smile on her face. “So relaxing, too.”
“I have a lot of different kinds,” Will said, but stopped when Addie pulled the headphones off.
“How do you hear people with them on?” she asked. “All I could see were your lips moving, I couldn’t hear you.”
“He does talk quietly,” Lorelei said.
“They’re Augmented, but only slightly,” Will said, taking the headphones back and putting them on. “I guess they’re more specific to my ears than I thought.”
“Can you hear me?” Addie asked in a small voice, covering her mouth and giggling.
“Yes,” Will said, much to Addie’s surprise and glee. “Interesting. They really are specifically tuned to my own hearing.”
“But why do you listen to music all day?” Addie asked.
“I…” Will started, hesitating. Trevain hopped down from Gwen’s shoulder and darted up to Will’s, nuzzling against his cheek. Will smiled, just a little. “I’m not so good with people. Or crowds. Or noise. Lorelei said I was shy, but… well, I guess you could call it that. Music… helps. A lot.”
“But you said it was to focus,” Chelsea said.
“That, too,” Will said. “It’s a really big help when I’m writing. And when I’m not writing, it helps keep my imagination active, inspires new ideas.”
“I can understand that,” Gwen said. She pulled out her cell phone. “Until I got this, I only vaguely knew about methods to record and listen to recorded music. I play the piano, I always have, but I always play before I set to work. It helps set the right mood. And I often hum or sing while I work on designing, tailoring, or mending clothing and accessories.” She smiled as she stared at her phone. “I should invest in some good headphones, too.”
“I wanna hear you play piano!” Addie said.
“I’d be delighted to play for you sometime,” Gwen said with a smile.
“I always wondered how you never got in trouble for wearing headphones at school,” Chelsea said, staring at Will.
“I received special permission in high school,” Will said. “Grimoire Academy’s principal is a mage, so explaining how the headphones wouldn’t impede my hearing was easier than if he wasn’t. And… Caleb helped.”
“Caleb?” Chelsea and Addie asked together.
Will nodded. He picked Trevain up from his shoulder and petted him as he talked. “Caleb actually was the one who helped me work up the courage to ask my parents, and with them it was possible to convince the principal. But he also didn’t let any bullies have their way.”
“Did he beat them up?” Addie asked, leaning forward, certainly overexcited.
“Once,” Will admitted, and Chelsea raised an eyebrow. She never would have thought. “But more often he played pranks, he messed with them, he outwitted them. Tricked them, used reverse psychology, turned their insults back on them… I would have just endured it. But he wouldn’t stand for that.”
Chelsea found herself staring at Caleb, still in his Time-state secret training, and beaming with pride.
There was more we had in common back then than I thought. Doing that for Will… that’s exactly how I’ve been for my friends.
——
Caleb floated in the River of Time’s encompassing embrace.
“Is that really what this new Time-state is?” he asked. “I’m always in the River of Time?”
“Everyone is always in the River of Time,” Jiryu said, watching Caleb with that ever-amused look he had. “Most just float along the top, carried along without being able to change depth or pace. Time Mages can do more, though at risk to themselves. But you, young Time Mage, because of your successful Trial, have come to a much more amazing place. A place that only a scant few have ever been allowed to walk — or should I say, swim. The River of Time no longer crushes you, no longer batters you with her pressure. Because she has accepted you as her own.”
“That’s why the pressure’s gone?” Caleb asked. “So the Trial… it was really between me and her. Then what about those Judges?”
“Don’t worry yourself over them. If there is need, perhaps one day you will know.”
Caleb smirked. “You don’t know who they are either, do you?”
“Are you fond of mocking your teachers?”
“I’m used to it being called ‘backtalk.’ And yeah, I guess I do have a reputation for it.”
“An insufferable child, aren’t you?”
Caleb laughed. “Oh, that brings me back. Yeah. Insufferable is a really good word for it.”
“Listen well, young Time Mage. You have seen that you can peer into the River and see past events, events she carries in her arms. But you have come to the false conclusion that you can see anything, from anyone, at any when. The River of Time has accepted you as her own, but she expects you to follow the rules. Above all, she expects you to trust her.”
“So what are the rules?”
Jiryu chuckled. “Whatever she says, goes.”
Caleb frowned at that. “She speaks?”
“There is more to speech than words,” Jiryu said. “You will not hear her with your ears.”
“Is she the same as the woman I’ve been seeing?” Caleb paused at that. “Okay, that came out weird, but you know what I mean.”
“Do you expect me to spell everything out for you?”
Caleb sighed. “It’d be nice if someone would do that for a change.”
Jiryu chuckled, only making Caleb sigh again. “The rules could be viewed in a different, simpler light: You are not in control.”
Caleb was silent at that, and Jiryu didn’t add to it. For a long time, Caleb floated in the River’s embrace, bobbed here and there by gentle currents.
You are not in control.
What had he been doing all this time? What had he always been trying to do with his Time Magic?
And there was part of the problem: “his” Time Magic? No.
Birthright Magic. It was given to me. But it isn’t mine — it’s a gift, but one that I don’t get to control freely. Even though I chose this — I’m the one who read about it and actually tried to do the magic that everyone said was impossible — in a way, I didn’t choose this. It chose me.
She chose me. It’s a precious gift. But I can’t do whatever I want with it.
I have to trust her.
“So I get to see what she wants me to see,” Caleb said softly.
“That is a useful way of perceiving it, yes.”
“So… when do we start the practical lesson?”
“Eager, are you?” Jiryu asked. “Very well. You already know how to access memories. Do it, and see what she shows you.”
“I… already know?” Caleb asked. Jiryu was silent, and Caleb understood. He did know.
The only problem was, he’d never done it. Never once had he tried it. At the farthest reach of the Edge of Time, the mysterious woman had shown him, and he’d seen memories with her assistance. And in the Weaving of Time, he’d been shown again, but…
There’s no practical understanding of it. There’s no method, no process. It’s just… “do it.”
Caleb took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. Ever since his first time training with Mister Midnight, he’d become very conscious about holding his breath.
And he took the plunge.
There, all around him, all at once, were numerous glassy globes, each carrying with it a memory. They floated around him — some flitted past, too quick to see, while others drifted lazily along. Some were near, others far. And Caleb could move through this space, could freely swim, more than freely, in fact, as if the current followed him, took him where he wished.
“Which do I choose?” he asked. “There are so many.”
“Have you understood nothing?”
Caleb paused, floating in the midst of thousands of memory globes flitting past or drifting by.
I am not in control.
Even when it feels like it.
So Caleb closed his eyes and fell back, feeling the current, listening for a voice he’d never hear in words.
This way…
Caleb’s eyes snapped open. Had that been a voice? Or just a feeling? There was a light tug, and he gave himself up to it, pulled along by the current. The current grew stronger the more willing Caleb was, the less he resisted.
A globe drifted along with him, at first going fast to catch up to him, then slowing and matching his pace right in front of him.
In that globe, Caleb saw a familiar scene — him and Will, fifth grade, at Grimoire’s mall in the Crater District. He reached out and touched the globe, and the current pulled him in.
The whole world changed. All the blue of the River of Time vanished, until there was nothing but a white, formless void.
In that void, inky, watery paints spilled forth. Colors flowed together, forming shapes. First just blobs, then more detail was added, bit by bit. The scene from Caleb’s childhood came to life as a painting, and then marvelously expanded into three dimensions.
Caleb was an observer. And the first thing that struck him was…
I look like a baby.
It was surreal, in his twenties, to suddenly be looking upon himself as a fifth-grader. Had he really been so small back then? Had he really had such a baby face back then?
Had he really had such a high-pitched voice back then?
“Come on, I want to check this out!” little Caleb said, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waited for Will.
“I really wanted to listen to music, though,” Will said, ducking his head.
Caleb stopped bouncing and cocked his head to the side. “Really?” he asked. At Will’s nervous nod, he broke into a big smile. “Well why didn’t you say so? Come on, show me what you want to listen to! I’ll listen, too!”
Will seemed surprised, but then happy as he led the way, Caleb following along excitedly.
Just as adult Caleb was smiling at the memory, enjoying the reminiscence, the image suddenly was washed away, paints swirling and formless once more. “Hey, hold on, I was watching that!” he cried. The paints began to reform, but then Caleb paused.
I am not in control.
Trust her.
The paints had started to recreate the memory he’d been watching, but as Caleb relaxed and let go, the paints washed away, forming new shapes, new colors.
Slowly, as details came into being, Caleb realized what he was seeing. Pulled by the current, he’d gone from fifth grade to tenth. Caleb, after showering and dressing after swim practice, joined Will outside school. It was December, and Caleb — as usual — hadn’t put much effort into drying his hair. As his hair froze in the winter air, he tugged on his icicle-bangs, grinning. “Look! It’s like Lorelei froze my head!”
“The ice would be cerulean if she’d done it,” Will said.
“Cerulean,” Caleb said dreamily. “That’s such a fun word. And it’s just a color. Hey, do you know every single word there is?”
“No one knows every single word all by themselves,” Will said.
“I thought you might, since you’re the writer.”
“Not even writers.”
Caleb sighed. “Oh, well. Hey, do you think Chelsea was acting weird today?”
“Weird how?”
“Like… she kinda seemed to be avoiding me.” Caleb rubbed the back of his neck, crushing icicles and scattering their shards. “I dunno, she’s been weird for a few weeks now. Ever since she came over with all of us that one time. Remember? As soon as she saw where I lived, she acted all nervous and stuff and then left, like she had something else to do. And Lorelei went too, and it was just us, and…” He sighed, his shoulder slumping. “I really wanted her to meet my parents and my siblings.”
“Did you try asking her about it?” Will asked. As Caleb opened his mouth to say he hadn’t, Will continued. “Don’t.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t ask her about it.” Will shrugged. “Just go on like things are normal. She might think you’re acting kind of weird, too, but if you act normal, then maybe she will, too.”
“You think she’s embarrassed about that?” Caleb asked.
“Could be.”
Caleb nodded. “Okay. Okay, yeah. Yeah! Right. I’ll act normal.” He threw an arm over Will’s shoulders, grinning as he pressed his icy head against Will’s hooded one. “You’re so wise.”
“And you’re always full of exaggerated praise,” Will said.
“It’s not exaggerated! Hey, you’ve got time, right? I still need to do Christmas shopping for my siblings.”
Will smiled, just a little. “You always save it until the last minute.”
“And it paid off this time! There’s this new art tablet that Fae was talking about, and it’s on sale this week!” Caleb grinned, eyes wide with excitement. “She’ll be so totally surprised.”
“You always splurge for your family.”
“And for you, buddy.”
Will’s smile grew a little sly. “And for Chelsea.”
Caleb leapt back, staring wide-eyed at Will. “Don’t say it like that!”
Will shrugged. “It’s the truth.”
“But it’s how you said it!”
“You like her, right?”
Caleb was frozen in shock again. “W-Will… you…”
Will stopped, turning to face Caleb. He had such a penetrating stare when he chose to look someone in the eyes. “I’m not wrong, am I?” Caleb looked around, but Will laughed softly. “It’s not like they’re around listening. And no one hears me, anyway.”
“You are quiet,” Caleb said. Slowly, he sighed, then sidled up to Will and spoke in a hushed voice. “Listen, can you just… not tease me like that?”
“I was making an observation,” Will said flatly.
“Ugh, come on!” Caleb’s face was flushed, and he shoved his hands in his pockets, walking in front of Will. “Just…”
“Why not tell her?” Will asked.
Caleb froze in place, and Will caught up to him, passed him, then turned and faced him again. Caleb struggled under that gaze, until he finally broke. “Man, I don’t know how to do this stuff,” he said. “Will… it’s like…”
“It’s harder because you like her that much,” Will said.
“Do you have to see everything so perfectly?” Caleb asked, mortified. “Just… just leave it, okay?”
“For how long?”
“How l— I… for the rest of high school!” Caleb stared intensely at Will, who met his gaze easily.
“We still have two and-a-half years,” Will said.
“Yeah, so, like… I’m saying give me time! But, you know, not… forever.”
“End of high school,” Will said, turning and walking on. “Try not to wait that long, though.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay!” Caleb raced after him. “Can we talk about something else, now?”
“If you insist.”
“Will!”
The memory was washed away, and adult Caleb found himself laughing as the current carried him along. The paints didn’t form something new, but instead washed away completely, and for a moment he was in the formless void again.
He could always see right through me.
But that promise… making me commit to a time frame…
That was a good move, Will. Thanks.
He was back in the River of Time, floating along.
“Now do you see?” Jiryu asked.
“I guess,” Caleb said. “I don’t… know why she wanted to show me that. But… I’m glad I got to revisit those moments.”
“Then you begin to understand.”
Caleb smiled. “Yeah. I guess I do. I am not in control. And… that’s how it should be.”