Shana held onto the beacon’s metal post, gazing ahead into the darkness. She took a deep breath, then let it out.
It’s my turn.
She could feel it before she stepped forth, before she started on to the next Nightmare.
I made it through one of the Three. Just two left.
I’m not alone. I’m not alone. I’m not alone.
She let go of the beacon, taking her friends’ hands in hers, relishing in the warmth of their companionship.
I’m not alone.
She started forward, and the world transformed.
The warmth she felt in her hands vanished, and she whipped around only to run straight into a door. Trying the doorknob, she realized it was locked. And…
Slowly, she turned back around to face the room she was locked in.
It was her bedroom at Greyson Manor.
No. No, no, no, not this one, not like this, I’m not… I’m not alone, I’m not.
“Are you so certain?”
Shana sobbed, sliding down to sit with her back against the door, hugging her thighs to her chest, burying her face in her knees.
No, please, not this one, I’m not alone. I’m not!
“You’re always alone.”
The whispering voices that replied to her were the only sounds in the dark room. Shana could open her voice, could scream or cry or wail, and not a sound would come from her.
Only the Whispers filled the silence. Only the Whispers kept her company in the loneliness.
Kathryn, Annabelle, Rae, they’re with me, I know they are, it’s like the town of Quiet. I won’t abandon them like I abandoned Annabelle before. I won’t. They’re right here with me —
“They’re not. They never will, and they never will be. You’re all alone. The lone Dreamer. Especially with Leon gone… the Radiant King, the proper Dreamer, who you killed.”
Shut up. Leave me alone, please. How many times do I have to deal with this? Why can’t I just wake up?
“…You can wake up, Shana.”
Shana’s eyes snapped open, and she gazed in shock at the dark room before her.
…What?
“You can wake up. Just say the word. You’ll wake up, and this will all be over. A dream. Nothing more.”
Shana sat silent, not even letting her mind’s voice fill the void. The Whispers said nothing. Silence reigned, and Shana felt the weight of the decision before her.
To wake up… she really could?
But to do so…
Shana felt her heart twisting as she bowed her head once more, closed her eyes. She shook her head.
I won’t wake up.
“Oh…?”
I won’t take the easy way out of this. I have to… I have to complete the Trial. So I won’t wake up yet.
The Whispers laughed, cruel and icy voices cutting to her heart.
“A silly high school girl, with no special talents of her own. And she still persists?”
“It’s pathetic.”
“She’s pathetic. But then, she knows it. She’s nothing special, nothing surprising. There’s nothing meaningful or excellent about her.”
I get straight A’s every year. I’m always on the honor roll.
The Whispers laughed at Shana’s defense.
“And so does Delilah. So does Shias. They’re always top of the class, too. And look what else they can do! Delilah, fighting the Hollows, praised for her Hunter-level skills at just fourteen. Shias, who could defend you against an attack even from a Son of Night, who so often carries your pitiful team. And then there’s you.”
Shana heard her own voice, from so long ago, when she’d first stood in the Greyson Manor training hall with her team, and they’d gone around in a circle explaining what their abilities were. And Shana had said, so excitedly, “I have a dog!”
The Whispers snickered and sneered.
“A dog. As if that’s something special. Just in Grimoire there are hundreds of mages with Summons. Delilah, three years younger than you, has four Summons, all bigger and stronger than your little Altair.”
I don’t want him to grow big and strong. I want him to always stay cute and little. And even though he’s not a fighter… he’s so brave.
“Yes… a courage you never can seem to muster. A courage you never can seem to reflect.”
“You’re always carried, always supported, always shuttled along by others. What skills do you have as a leader?”
I’m the leader of the Literature Club. I’ve been for three years. And we’ve done so well.
“Oh, yes, you’re marvelous at leading other people in… what, exactly?”
“In reading. You’re good at getting people to read. What a marvelous talent.”
Sarcastic, icy laughter filled the room. Shana sank her head deeper into her legs, covered her ears, shut her eyes tighter.
“You can’t escape our voices, dear.”
“And honestly. You read. You have a dog. You get good grades. And for what?”
“You can’t fight like Caleb, Chelsea, Shias, or Delilah. You don’t have artistic talents or creativity like Fae. You’re just an ordinary high school student. A girl, a child, given the role of Dreamer, and for what? What gives you the right to have such power?”
“You can’t even use it properly. Heart keeps carrying you, keeps bailing you out of the worst danger. And you’ll never be as powerful as Leon.”
“Leon… there was a real leader. With so many people around him, following him, believing in him. They worshipped him. And you? What have you that comes close to that?”
“You killed him.”
“You killed him. And the real tragedy? It’s that he didn’t kill you, instead.”
“What kind of Dreamer are you? Given powers you don’t deserve, that you can’t even use properly.”
I’ve flown.
“Oh, yes, you can fly! How special of you. And what’s it done? It got you through the Nightmare Road, only to have to leave the Citadel because you weren’t prepared to rescue Nocta. And in the end, who saved Nocta? Who rescued her from Collapse? You were there, but in the end, Fae and Chelsea did all the work, didn’t they? And it was Shias who came back with the journal, with information about Collapse that helped Fae destroy it.”
“What have you done, other than kill a shining leader, a man who was so strong, so powerful. Misguided, surely, but you could have changed his mind, instead of killing him. That strength is what the world needs. Not your weakness.”
There is no shame in being weak.
“What, that old poem? The one Heart showed you?”
“And why do you think she showed it to you, hmm? Because you’re weak, and you’ll never not be. Because it’s her job to support you, to make you feel like you’re worth something. She was just trying to make you feel better. In the end, your weakness is what keeps letting everyone else down.”
“You were never prepared for this journey. You were never worthy of it. It would be better if you weren’t the Dreamer, if you went home and lived a boring, ordinary life.”
“Yes, that’s what you longed for all along, isn’t it? You always wanted an ordinary life, until you decided something should be done about missing, kidnapped children. And what happened with that? You didn’t even save them. Marcus did.”
I helped him. I found out where they were.
“Go back home. Give up being the Dreamer. Let Heart go to Shias. Yes… that’s where the power really belongs, isn’t it? Your twin brother.”
“Surprising you’re twins, isn’t it? He’s so much better than you at everything. It’s no wonder you lean on him and he never leans on you. Go, send Heart to him. Give up this fool’s errand. He certainly wouldn’t be weak to childish nightmares like you.”
Shana gripped her knees tightly, shutting her eyes against a flood of tears that broke through anyway.
Why? Why was this one of the Three, why was this something she had to endure so often?
And why… why were the Whispers…
…right?
I don’t deserve any of this.
“Yes.”
I’m too weak to do anything right.
“Yes.”
I’m just an ordinary girl playing at being a hero.
“Yes.”
But…
“Hmm…?”
Shana leaned back, resting her head against the door, gazing up at her ceiling through watery eyes.
I’ve come so far.
“On the backs of others.”
Yeah. I know. But…
…that’s how it should be.
“What drivel is this?”
Shana smiled, just a little bit.
I don’t want to be alone. Who would? And… I think that goes further. No one’s supposed to be alone. Even heroes. Caleb, Chelsea, Fae, Delilah… they’re not out there saving the universe alone. They have each other, and so many new friends and allies they’ve met along the way.
“Drawn to their charisma and talent, no doubt. Where do your friends come from? They just pity you.”
Shana shook her head, and her smile widened.
No. It’s not pity.
It’s love.
We love each other. I don’t care if they’re talented or strong. It’s so exciting that they are, in their own ways, but that’s not what makes my friends so wonderful.
I love them. And they love me.
“And?”
Shana pushed herself slowly to her feet, gazing into the darkness of her bedroom.
“And I’m not going to let them down.”
Her voice came through clear and warm, shattering the silence. As the Nightmare began to dissolve, as the Whispers vanished, Shana felt warmth in her hands again. And she looked to either side to see Annabelle, Kathryn, and Rae with her.
And in front of them was the next beacon.
“We know you won’t,” Kathryn said, giving Shana’s hand a gentle squeeze.
“You heard everything?” Shana asked.
“Isn’t that okay?” Rae asked. She hugged Shana from behind, resting her chin on Shana’s shoulder. “You’re not alone. There’s no shame in being weak. And we love you so much.”
Shana laughed, pulling all of her friends into a hug. “I love you guys so much, too.”
Together, they walked to the next beacon. Taking a moment to prepare themselves, Shana then placed her hand on the beacon.
The world transformed again.
Shana gasped. Before she saw anything, a bell tolled in the darkness. Its deep, resonant sound lingered and expanded, reverberated and enfolded, surrounding Shana and her friends until it seemed there was nothing else. A sudden rush of wind shot through, sweeping the girls up and tossing them aside, so that they came to a rolling landing along a brick street. Shana was the first to her feet, helping the others up, taking in the new landscape.
The town of Quiet.
Its architecture was a hodgepodge amalgamation of Grimoire’s earliest years and Victorian-era gothic architecture, a place that should be beautiful, that should fit into all of Shana’s favorite places and eras in history, and yet…
This was the town of her nightmares. More than that, it was where she’d failed Annabelle in the Dream Forge, where she’d ended up alone for the rest of that trial.
High in the sky, the only light illuminating the narrow streets, was a massive moon, gleaming silver, large enough that craters and valleys were clearly visible on the surface.
Shana thought it looked like a vicious, hungry face.
Annabelle gripped Shana’s hand tightly and looked up at her, and Shana looked back at her, meeting those determined blue eyes.
When Shana looked up again, braced for the sounds of the Walkers, for footsteps to sound throughout the town…
She was stunned.
“There’s the beacon,” Kathryn said. Sure enough, there it was, at the end of the block, right in the open, gleaming cool and constant.
Shana led the way forward. Cautious, careful, wary for any sudden dangers. But after several steps…
“I’m…” she started, realizing all of a sudden why things were different. Why she didn’t hear the sound of footsteps, why the terrifying Walkers were nowhere to be heard.
“I’m not afraid,” she said. Her heart was light, her mind clear, and she grinned widely, full of hope. “Come on!” She ran forward, and her friends ran with her. In no time at all, they reached the beacon. There were no tricks. No traps.
Shana took one long look around, turning in a circle to take in the entire town. For the first time…
She really did think it was beautiful.
And when she looked up at that massive moon one more time, she saw the face differently. Rather than vicious or hungry…
It looked to her like it was weeping.
“Let’s go,” Shana said softly. She placed her hand on the beacon, and her friends placed their hands on hers.
The town of Quiet vanished, darkness replaced with beautiful, marvelous light. Golden light, filled with magenta clouds.
The sky of Dreamworld was back. Shana and her friends stood on a high plateau, only the faintest wisps of cloud reaching them up here. Down sheer cliffs to either side, the landscape below was hidden by a thick veil of clouds.
And in the center of the plateau was the Dream Beacon. It was a small pedestal, similar to where Shana had received the fire, her charge, from before the Trial had begun.
“Go for it,” Kathryn said, giving Shana a little push. Shana looked at her friends smiling so bright at her, and she smiled back before heading forward to the Dream Beacon. She stood at its edge for a while, gazing at the pedestal’s empty basin. A thrill of anticipation ran through her. What was about to happen? What would it mean for her to light the Beacon?
Overcoming this Trial… it’s supposed to awaken my true abilities as the Dreamer. What does that mean? What am I going to become?
Not Leon. I won’t be like him. But then who…?
She chuckled, shaking her head. Softly, she said, “Let’s find out.”
She stretched out her hand, and fire leapt from within her, filling the basin and bursting to beautiful, magnificent light. Shana stepped back as the flames shot high into the air, a beacon of magenta fire, blazing bright. That brightness intensified, more and more, until Shana had to shut her eyes. Even as the blinding brightness fought against her eyelids, she felt the hands of her friends on her shoulders.
The light slowly faded. And when it did, Shana opened her eyes.
She gasped.
She was just as high as before, but the plateau and Dream Beacon had vanished, so that open air lay below her. She was floating in the sky, with her friends touching her so they wouldn’t fall. And below… and around… and beyond…
I can see so much!
The magenta clouds had almost entirely vanished, save for wisps here and there, thin and small so they never obstructed anything. Golden light gleamed bright across a vast, never-ending landscape of marvelous sights. Glittering white sand beaches. Sheer, crystalline cliffs. Vast, lush jungles and forests teeming with life. There was the castle she knew so well, the one she’d come to every time in Dreamworld. It was the largest structure, but there were so many more forts and castles, ruins and other structures. There were so many floating islands, suspended in midair, and she recognized the platform of windows Heart had shown her where she could gaze into the past, and the flying library where she’d read valuable knowledge. There were others like them, places she’d yet to see, yet to go.
“There’s so much I have to discover,” she said, breathless.
“I hope you won’t leave us out of it,” Annabelle said.
“No way in the world,” Shana said, laughing.
“There’s Heart and Nocta,” Rae said, pointing. Down below, on a high tower of the largest castle, stood the pair. Shana started flying towards them, and she and her friends laughed giddily, exhilaration filling them as they soared through the most beautiful skies.
They came to a soft landing, and Shana felt her heart soar at the beaming smile of pride on Heart’s face. “Well done, Shana,” Heart said. “You have truly done well.”
“Of course she did,” Kathryn said, grinning as she leaned on Shana’s shoulder.
“Thank you,” Shana said. “What happens now?”
“Now…” Heart started, then raised her eyebrows as a bell tolled softly in the distance. “Ah, but it will soon be time for you to return to the Waking World.”
“What’s up with that?” Kathryn asked. “Why can’t she stay here as long as she wants?”
But Shana laughed, shaking her head. She shared a knowing look with Heart as she said, “A Dream is meant to be woken from.”
“Indeed,” Heart said. “But worry not. You can return soon, as you well know. And you will need to come back, as often as you can. For your true powers are now awakening, Shana. Who you are — what kind of Dreamer you are — is unique to you. Do not expect Leon’s powers, for he… he was something different, something corrupted. He was a Dream, and his powers were so destructive and impossible because of that. But more than that, you are different because —”
“Because I’m different,” Shana said. “He was a fighter, a king. I’m… not that. But… I think I’m starting to understand who I am. Or, well… who I’m supposed to be. Who I can be.”
Heart smiled, stepping towards Shana as the bell tolled again. Shana dashed forward, wrapping Heart up in a tight embrace. “Thank you, Heart,” she said. “I’m so glad. That I didn’t give up on you. That I didn’t give up on any of this.”
“And I am so very proud of you, Shana,” Heart said, hugging Shana back, radiating warmth. “When next you visit, we will speak more. But before you leave, Nocta and I will tell you as much as we can. At least to give you direction, to help you know where you should go next.”
Shana stepped back, standing with her friends and listening intently to all that Heart and Nocta could say in the time they had left. And as the final bell tolled, Shana readied herself for what came next, looked forward to what was to come, her heart swelling with excitement and hope.
And she woke up.